If your loved one has fibromyalgia, it’s hard to understand exactly what they’ve been through without experiencing it yourself. They probably need more time than you to sleep or sleep and may not feel ready to go out very often. Fibromyalgia can also interfere with a person’s ability to work, do housework or even perform everyday tasks such as showering and feeding.
If you have a supportive spouse or a significant other, that makes all the difference. It’s not that we are hurting and that we are exhausted. It changes your life. You are no longer the same physically or mentally (my anguish) so much has disappeared. I know everyone feels the same way.
If one person has a chronic illness but the other is in good health, it can easily test even the strongest relationships. While it may be harder to put yourself in the other’s shoes or find a balance in which you both feel like equal partners in the relationship, it’s certainly not impossible – and for many couples Facing obstacles such as chronic diseases can actually strengthen their bond and deepen their love for each other.
We asked our communities “Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Disease” and “Living with Fibromyalgia” to share ways in which people can help their spouse or partner with fibromyalgia. If your loved one is affected by a chronic health problem such as fibromyalgia, the CF, the following ways can help you better understand what they are experiencing and give you some ideas of things you could do that could make them feel world.
This is what our community told us:
1. When they have a breakdown, hold them, let them cry and know that you are there for them.
2. Learn as much as you can about it. Be patient. You may not understand what it sounds like, but bring empathy and listen to your partner or spouse is so important. Unconditional love.
3. Ask your partner to listen to you and read about people with fibromyalgia.
4. Avoid making them feel guilty. Give confidence and love. Lie down in your bed and hold them, tell them that you stay there a long time. And say it!
5. Believe them first, then support them, be nice at all times with third place and pull your weight into the relationship in a practical way. They have not planned more than you and you are both in the same boat, so help them both to make the most of the trip. The more support they have, the sooner they will get their own fitness and health, but it takes a while and you have to support them and lighten their physical and emotional load as much as you can.
6. Show love and do not ask too many questions in an outbreak
7. Draw a good warm bath, wash your hair, help them, dry them and brush them. So, listening would be good.
8. Be understanding, patient, share housework, help others question the truth of the illness, remember that this illness is not the fault or punishment of anyone. Above all, never stop loving the afflicted person.
9. Do exactly what you would like your sweetheart to do if the roles were reversed.
Above all, be kind, loving, patient and funny
10. No guilt, a little sympathy and self-talk. Sometimes I can only take care of myself … prepare dinner once a week. Vacuum or clean a shower. Remember we can not take the same things, or I can not, ten pounds and I’m almost exhausted
11. Do do not just hear what they say, but listen!
12. Find out about the different aspects of pain often, bring them some small things that will help you: sachets, medicine, drinks, heating pad, etc. Understand their difficulties, do research
13. Fill in the gaps .. different forms of support in case of deficiencies. These are deep expressions so that they are known and understood, then understand how it may be impossible to achieve them. Be creative. Help with pain or need to sleep on weekends, but I want to clean, beach comb, look for sea glass, kayak but it is limited, play volleyball (can not anymore) the bottom of my legs start to hurt me. If it looks like a shin splint, I pushed because it was great. I’m painting the woodwork and windows, which would take a healthy person one summer. That will take me two. I agree with that. It’s an example of reduced expectations that help me achieve goals that strengthen my esteem and strength.
14. Never say you’re lazy
15. Never cut them to not feel good or to be able to do the things they could do once Be supportive even if you do not understand everything.
16. Keep them out of stressful situations. Allow them to rest when they need it.
If possible live somewhere, the barometric pressure does not change too much – whatever the pain!
17. There is a wonderful book called Fibromyalgia for Dummies. My son read it, I do not know how many times. He really wanted to understand and help. My husband left in a month.
18. When I say that I can feel the energy flow from me like a needle that takes blood, let me rest, because sweat, flu and brain fog are upon us.
19. Make sure they understand that even if they can not function as before, they are still a valuable member of the family and they are not a burden.
20. Ask your wife what she would like from you and tell her that you want to help in any way you can. Every little favor or assistance makes a difference for me, but we are all different. Some prefer the most independence possible. Many prefer to be interviewed before automatically assuming what is wanted or needed. Offer to help or do things to help around the house without asking after you know what is wanted and needed. Some of us feel guilty for putting the burden on others.
Reassuring your spouse that you are by his side and that you do not mind helping can and wants to support and understand the best you can can be a huge relief for your spouse. Personally, I only like my feet massaged with a lotion. Other areas are too sensitive for massage. I need help at home, shopping, etc. I need a peaceful environment to rest.
What would help your spouse? What would help your wife feel a little better or more comfortable? Know that you can not repair or change the disease, but you can offer assistance and comfort. Too often, people give unsolicited advice, which can make the situation worse by creating more realistic expectations and additional pressure. Then I can become more depressed or feel guilt and unnecessary shame.
I hope it helps you. ?